It’s a new day and a new day to work on my goals.
Yet, I keep hearing ‘You can’t do this’, ‘No one wants to hear about it’, ‘You don’t know what you are doing’, ‘You are not worthy’, ….my inner child or I like to call it my ‘Tasmanian Devil’ is working extremely hard to derail my plans of refocusing on my goals, getting into action today and doing what I want to do to reach my goals. I woke up excited to get started, I had a plan already ready to go, my roadmap ready and then good ole’ ‘Tasmanian Devil’ decides to swirl in like a hurricane and quickly flip my motivation into self-doubt, paralysis and even imposter syndrome.
All of my old negative thoughts and the oodles of life plans that I have made be uprooted, taken away from me or derailed all came flooding back with gale force winds. From not being able to bear children and be the Mom I have dreamed about being since I was a child, to trusting others with my heart while they ripped it out and broke my trust, to promising my childhood best friend that we would be better at staying in touch and yet failing to follow through and now I’ll never have that opportunity again until I’m in heaven, to allowing my career to create my identity and purpose, to loosing that career due to downsizing and absolutely crushing my self-confidence and really question what my purpose is.
I’ve had so many amazing plans and lifegoals, they were all mapped out, the bags were packed, the ticket was purchased and I was ready to get on the train and go for it. Yet, so many times my plans came to an abrupt stop and I have been left sitting on the platform watching as the train, my train…..leave without me while I sat on the bench
Frozen in fear
Frozen in self-doubt
Frozen in procrastination
Frozen in all the ‘what if’s’
The train leaves the station while I’m unable to move and the crushing wave of unworthiness surrounds me.
It’s been so incredibly hard to have had so many beautiful visions/plans for my life be derailed by others and by myself. I know that my life experiences have been extremely powerful from teaching me many lessons, to allowing me many opportunities to see new perspectives, to pushing me out of my comfort zone, and also reminding me of my strengths and what’s important to me. On the flip side, my life experiences and the many words that others have spoken over me have also been soul crushing at times…when I allow them to.
So, today as I sit here on that proverbial train platform as the train is coming into the station. I recognized the pattern and put some of the training I have learned into action.
I hear you ‘Tasmanian Devil’
I see you
I feel the hurricane winds you are spinning around me
I appreciate what you are trying to do today but hear me loud and clear…..
I AM stronger than this!
I AM meant for more!
I AM worthy!
I BELIEVE in myself!
I CAN do hard things!
I DESERVE to shine my light!
This is MY train; it will be leaving the station
I WILL confidently step onto this train without you ‘Tasmanian Devil’.
Your ticket is not valid on this train.
It’s time to flip the script and change the outcome. Time to step into the plan I have mapped out for myself. Will it be perfect…probably not but that’s part of the adventure and it will all be worth it.
And whenever my ‘Tasmanian Devil’ tries to buy a ticket to derail my plans again, I will remember that I have the tools at my fingertips, I just have to use them so I can continue to keep taking these imperfect steps, one step at a time, towards becoming the best version of me.
I’ve got this!
If you want my help silencing your inner narratives or ‘Tasmanian Devil’, I’m here to help you too!
Juliette
xxxx
