The Power Of Saying 'No'

The Power Of Saying 'No'
Do you have a vision for your future?  
Are you actively working on that vision every single day?

I used to say ‘Yes’ to EVERYTHING for everyone else except me.  I would fill up our weekends with a long list of things we needed to do for others.  

At the end of the weekend, I would be thankful to have helped others, yet mad at myself as I accomplished nothing on our own To Do List and I was way too exhausted to start tackling it.  

While I have a vision for my goals and dreams, my 'people pleasing' tendencies were not allowing me the time or space to work on them.

What have I learned about saying 'Yes' to anything and everyone else's needs?:

  • that there is no time left for me to work on what matters to me, including my dreams.  
  • saying ‘Yes’ to someone just because I feel obligated is not OK.  If I have the time and the ability to help, then OK, I’m all in.   
  • by saying ‘Yes’ to everyone else’s needs and putting mine on the back burner, I am showing others, including myself, that their needs are way more important than mine.  And that’s not OK.  Now  I am being a better example for others by saying 'No' when appropriate.
At my prior job, when a situation presented itself and it was not aligned with what either my co-worker or I needed to focus on, yet we wanted to jump in and say 'Yes' to fix the issue/situation but really we should be saying 'No', we got into the habit of saying this statement to each other to help us stay on track,  
‘Someone else’s poor planning does not make it my priority.’  

  • The word ‘No’ is so small and yet it is such a powerful word.  

What I have learned from saying 'No' from anything and everything:
  • I am now giving myself the space to be the best version of me.  
  • I am freeing up time to work on me, my goals, personal development, self-care time and so much more.  
  • I am not saying that you should say ‘No’ to everything.  As I still say 'Yes', especially if it's a true emergency.  
  • I simply take a moment or two before jumping right in to reflect on what I have on my plate and evaluate whether or not it's the right choice for me to say 'Yes'.
  • I may even bite my tongue and have some internal chatter with myself afterwards to give myself grace and remind myself that I am NOT being selfish.  I am setting healthy boundaries for me and my time....and that's OK! 

With it being the start of a new month, it’s always a great time to re-evaluate.  So, audit what’s on your plate for the upcoming month and decide what tasks, commitments, etc. need to be removed from your plate.  

Ask yourself, what else am I doing that is no longer serving me or allowing me the time and energy to focus on my goals and dreams?  

And when you free up some time, make sure you are using that time wisely to work on you, your dreams and your goals.  

The only thing holding you YOU!

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A conversation with myself.......

A conversation with myself.......
Have you ever really paid attention to the conversation that goes on in your head?

I have been working on getting back into my morning routine.  Getting up at 5am, moving my body for a minimum of 30 min, showering and then starting my day.  While I have not been successful in getting up at 5am, I have been consistent with moving my body.  Normally, I would allow my lack of getting up at 5am as I promised myself to stop me from moving my body no matter what time I finally dragged my butt out of bed and say ‘there’s always tomorrow’.  Rinse and repeat and by the end of the week, I did not move my body for the minimum of 30 min as I promised myself.  

This would often trigger negative self-talk, feeling bad about myself and the downward spiral would start. 

While I was on my walk this morning, I was embattled in a constant back and forth chat with my inner child who was determined to derail my exercise today.  

Here is a snippet of my inner dialect this morning between my Inner Child (👶) and Myself (👩‍🦰).

👶:  OK great you are moving your body, but let’s go up this street and cut up that street and you’ll be home in no time.
👩‍🦰:  Keep walking.  You promised yourself to walk to the ocean and enjoy the view.

👶:  Aargh.  OK fine.  What if you walk along the golf course and up this street and then cut through the mall parking lot and through the park, you’ll be home and still get your 30 min in...your shower is going to feel amazing!
👩‍🦰:  Would you please stop!  You are going to the ocean.  You promised.  Keep the promise you made to yourself.  You are worth it!

👶:  I can feel blisters forming and your muscles in your legs, knees and arms are screaming at you....can’t you hear them?  If you call Graham, he’ll come and get you and you’ll be home in no time and enjoy that shower!
👩‍🦰:  Yes, I feel the blisters but there’s nothing I can do about them now.  Your muscles are not screaming they are rejoicing because you are using them.  They are celebrating.  Graham is working you are NOT bothering him.  This is not life and death, you are moving your body and going for a walk.  Look ahead I can see the oceanside just down the street.  You can do this!

👶:  I don’t want to go to the beach anymore.  Why are you doing this to me?  I want to me at home in my jammies.
👩‍🦰:  Too are almost there!  And you do want to go the beach, it’s your happy spot and you are going to be so grateful once you get there.  I am so happy to be moving my body.

👶:  OK, we are at the beach.  You proved me wrong.  Your blisters are huge let’s call Graham.  Maybe you can take the bus home...look it’s right there.
👩‍🦰:  I love this place.  I love the scent.  I love the breeze on my face.  I did it!  I made it to the beach!!  Yes, your blisters hurt but that’s OK.  Take your time going home and let’s see what we can appreciate along the way back.  I am not calling Graham and I am not getting on the bus.  I walked here, I will walk home.  I got this!

In the past I would have let my Inner Child win and I would succumb to her derailing my plans/goals. What I realized this morning is that all of the work I have been doing on my mindset and with the Aroma Freedom Technique sessions, the work I have been doing IS working.  

did not allow my Inner Child to win today.  
I had a goal and I stuck to it and crushed it.  

Yes...with some blisters but that’s OK, my positive mindset took charge today and outshined my Inner Child.  

As I walked home, I took the time to look around and enjoy the beauty all around me and that I had failed to appreciate on my way to the beach.  I found gratitude in the beautiful flowers that so many homeowners have carefully planted and tended to and in turn finding that gratitude lifted my heart as I made my way home after successfully completing my morning walk.  Such a powerful way to start my day and a wonderful gift to myself to see that my hard work on my mindset is paying off.  

I am SO excited for what the future holds! 

PS - If you would like to hear a little bit about some of my morning routine habits that I am getting back on track with that help me conquer my days, click HERE to receive my FREE e-book.  Yup, totally FREE.  

PSS.  If you like my outlook and want to spend more time with me, come and join my free Facebook group where this is just one of the many things we talk about.  Just click HERE to come and join us today! 

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